Emotions

SPM is nearing and is messing with my emotions, I can tell. I just snapped at people even though they didn't technically did anything wrong - and feel terribly guilty afterwards. I get annoyed easily - or is it I'm usually like that? I'm always feeling prickly round my body and can't settle down doing anything. I keep thinking about stuff, and sad stuff too. I keep telling myself to calm down but to no avail. In the end, I just kept wasting time while mourning about life.

Sounded so depressed. I stare at myself in the mirror and wonder why can't I be pretty. I look at my pictures and sigh at my less-than-good looks. I feel so out of place in this world full of pretty people. I feel frustrated knowing I can't change how I look, which means I can't turn into a beauty. I know beauty is only skin deep but how I wish that someone would praise me, for once. Say that I'm beautiful, make me feel beautiful. I avoid staring myself at the mirror and only give it a necessary glance, once in a while. I dislike taking pictures and even flinch at them, sometimes. When would I ever turn heads in the street ? When would people automatically talk to me because they think I'm pretty? I don't want to be a conventional beauty, but I would like to be beautiful. Let's face it, who doesn't? But life's always unfair. So many people seem to be blessed with good looks, or gain them as they hit puberty but not me. Nobody would pair the word pretty or gorgeous with me. Nobody would glance at me twice on a street. No random stranger would want to take a picture with me or even try to chat me up. I know I should be grateful that at least I'm living without any disabilities but.... Why do people has to be so greedy?