Because Love

It's like a full circle back.

After 1 year plus, almost 2. It's coming back.

The fear for my health, fear of unknown etc. But the difference is, I'm so much stronger now.

As I'm tidying my old notes, especially from my first sessions of therapies. Boy oh boy.

The things I used to fear, my deepest darkest thoughts, all displayed on paper. It's no wonder I eventually broke down when I did.

I hated myself so much. There were many things I couldn't accept about myself. "I don't love myself enough," said Teacher Yasa, many many months ago. I didn't understand then, then I did.

For only with love we're able to completely accept oneself. For only with love we're capable with forgiving if not forgetting. Only with love we believe we are enough.

It was a tough, long journey. It still is. But thank you.

I changed. A lot. Some might think I'd changed for the better, some might missed the old me more. But I am in a much more happy place now. People from my past who are unable to accept me as I am now don't deserve the current me anyway.

It's no wonder I attracted the people that I did. Those that leached of my energy, leached of my insecurities, promises of a better future if I followed their way but it's not. No wonder people turned bitter when I opened up my eyes and stopped worshiping them / taking them under my wings and figured out my own way my own path. Not any of this is their fault though. Some eventually changed with me too. Some changed but not with me. Some didn't change at all. And it's all perfectly okay.

For I am lighter. I am better. I am happier. I am. Enough.

But of course I'm not perfect. Old emotions still do come back, old fears still sometimes haunt me. People who used to dominate over me still have that some sort of power over me. But at least I'm more aware now. And what doesn't kill you make you stronger.

Reading back the notes somehow brought things back full circle.

Thank you people of my past. Thank you past self.

The moment when I felt my core shaking, and shifted, the lightness that filled within me...

Things start dissembling. Dissembling negative people negative energy. Building own values own beliefs own worth.

People who matter, will always stay.

Because love.