Emotions

SPM is nearing and is messing with my emotions, I can tell. I just snapped at people even though they didn't technically did anything wrong - and feel terribly guilty afterwards. I get annoyed easily - or is it I'm usually like that? I'm always feeling prickly round my body and can't settle down doing anything. I keep thinking about stuff, and sad stuff too. I keep telling myself to calm down but to no avail. In the end, I just kept wasting time while mourning about life.

Sounded so depressed. I stare at myself in the mirror and wonder why can't I be pretty. I look at my pictures and sigh at my less-than-good looks. I feel so out of place in this world full of pretty people. I feel frustrated knowing I can't change how I look, which means I can't turn into a beauty. I know beauty is only skin deep but how I wish that someone would praise me, for once. Say that I'm beautiful, make me feel beautiful. I avoid staring myself at the mirror and only give it a necessary glance, once in a while. I dislike taking pictures and even flinch at them, sometimes. When would I ever turn heads in the street ? When would people automatically talk to me because they think I'm pretty? I don't want to be a conventional beauty, but I would like to be beautiful. Let's face it, who doesn't? But life's always unfair. So many people seem to be blessed with good looks, or gain them as they hit puberty but not me. Nobody would pair the word pretty or gorgeous with me. Nobody would glance at me twice on a street. No random stranger would want to take a picture with me or even try to chat me up. I know I should be grateful that at least I'm living without any disabilities but.... Why do people has to be so greedy?

Dusk or Dawn?

Dawn. Definitely. Woke up early today and went for a morning jog and I must say, mornings are beautiful. With the slightly misty air and morning dew clinging to the leaves, it was a fresh breath of air. Okay, I might not be making any sense now, but what I'm trying to say is, I prefer mornings to evenings.

In the morning, the sky's blue. A clear, lovely shade of brilliant blue and the clouds are fluffy. And the best thing about it is you can look up at the sky as long as you want to without feeling the glare of the sunlight. Because at that time, the sun has not fully awaken yet and it's all soft and mellowly. Just enough to light up the sky but not yet enough to scald you. There's no need to squint and you can just relax while your skin absorbs its Vitamin D. There are no cars or motorcycles sprinting on the street so at least the air is not dusty, yet. The wind is cool and refreshing on your face and you just feel alive. Though I must say, it's a really really bad idea to go for a morning jog before having any food in your tummy cause I felt faint-ish afterwards, and ran less than I usually do.

Dusk usually signifies the day is ending. Although yes the sky's beautiful too, with lovely shades of purple and pink, but it lasts so short there's barely time to enjoy it. Plus, the sky soon turns dark and there's no longer any outdoor activity. Everyone retreats indoor to prepare for dinner and bed. On the other hand, dawn signifies a new day, a new beginning. It's full of hopes and possibilities and I just simply love it.
  

Those Songs

Nice songs are awesome. Especially those spine-tingling ones which touch your heart, deeply. And your whole soul seemed to be connected to those songs. It bleeds along with them. It feels for them. And you just couldn't stop hitting the replay button. Those songs, with emotions so true and raw, are my fav. They seemed to take your heart on an emotional journey which you have never embarked on before, revealing to you things you never knew. Or feelings you never explored. Sometimes, you wish the song would never end. You wish that you could reach out and give them a big fat hug, telling them that it will all be okay, everything will be fine.

Yeah sure, they are just songs, and those singers merely sing them. But sometimes you can't help but to wonder, if they can sing so well it penetrates deep into your heart, could it be they have experienced those same feelings before?

Songs can express feelings in a way words never could. It might be because of the combination of lyrics and music. It does wonders, surely.

Therefore, I just simply dislike current music, all so shallow and seemed to be all about dancing, clubs, drinking, girls and getting hit on. And very flirty, not to mention dirty. Where had all the deep, meaningful ones gone to?

Emotional songs. (Y)

Protective

Despite how much we are annoyed or frustrated at our siblings, when somebody gossip or talk bad about them, we would immediately jump to the defensive side.


18/5/12:
I typed that statement out about a year ago and saved it as a draft. Strangely enough, I came across this tweet today and thought it was damn accurate. And later today I decided to log into my blog account which I haven't log in for a long time and saw this draft which I must say, matches very well! *stricken*

''#Virgo's are born protectors. If you pick on their family or friends be prepared for a hell.''

Maturity

How exactly do you define that huh? Is there an official scale somewhere? I wish there are. Sometimes.


All I know is, when you look back to the time when you were younger, and remember those things you said, and feel that that was really really immature of you, well, then you are even more mature now than you are back then. Because to me, those people who think they are mature are the ones who are the most immature actually. You might think is your everyday action that counts. Oh, you don't watch cartoons? You don't play pretend? You don't play little children's game? Then you must be sooooo mature. NOT. Maturity is based on your mental capability. How you think, how you analyse a situation, how you react in certain cases or conflicts, how you interact with other people, how your brain functions basically. 


Looking back, I can't help but feel how childish I was back then.But I for one know that I am far from being mature. There are still so many little things in live which really irks me even though I know I am supposed to let it go. At least that's what a mature people supposed to do, I think.


Ah well, everybody's definition is different. This is such a metaphorical thing after all. Cheers, and may your brain continue growing wiser each day.

Where is the Love

I'm always in support of songs that support humanity, that sings about the world. Where is the love by Black Eyes Peas and heal the world by Michael Jackson had always been my favourite. Here's a few special segments of the lyrics of where is the love that I like.

What's wrong with the world mama?
People living like ain’t got no mamas
I think the whole world’s addicted to the drama
Only attracted to the things that bring you trauma

But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And if you hatin you're bound to get irate
Yeah madness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
You gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate

People killing people dying
Children hurtin you hear them crying
Can you practice what you preach

Nations dropping bombs
Chemical gases filling lungs of little ones
With ongoing suffering
As the youth die young

People keep on giving in
Makin wrong decisions
Only visions of them living and
Not respecting each other
Deny thy brother
The war’s  going on but the reason’s  undercover
The truth is kept secret
Swept under the rug
If you never know truth
Then you never know love

Kids wanna act like what they see in the cinema
Whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness and equality
Instead of spreading love, we're spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading us away from unity

I gotta keep my faith alive, until love is found

=)

Lucky

Some people never grasp how lucky they are. They had clothes yet they want branded one. They want shoes with the latest technology and design while other children have flatten plastic bottles as slippers. They go overseas every holiday yet they complain they don't have enough money. They had food on their table yet they want to eat in the most exquisite restaurant. I'm not saying we can't enjoy our life and eat and wear the cheapest, but we have got to appreciate what we got, and stop complaining. Be grateful, be contented and never demand for more.

We have food in our tummy, clothes on our body, a roof over our head, school, friends, water, electricity, parents and a healthy body. What more could we possible need? What more could we possibly ask for?