Why does it feel so hard to let go - if it's the right choice for me? Because I am changing my belief, learning to trust myself and my instinct. It's unknown and it's scary, of course I am afraid. I am always looking for advice and solution from people and get frustrated when it doesn't work. Of course it doesn't because nobody knows it better than myself. Nobody knows me better than myself and I choose to respect that if I wish everyone else can respect that. Why am I afraid of talking to her? Is it the same reason as with ajie? Hmm because I am afraid of being not good enough of not doing the right things, well scared, afraid, fear, these three words I use a lot. Learn to trust my self and my instinct. My body is already giving me a big warning signal. If I don't face it - nobody else will.
My method? Not your method. Even she herself said that already my god. -_- Figure out what works best for you, prioritise myself. Don't have to justify or feel the need to please. Spending time with people I love and who loves me, gain back my energy.
It's not whether can I or can I not, it's want or don't want.
It no longer mean the same thing to me and it's ok.
This struggling feeling is TEMPORARY. 无常.
One step at a time, nobody is rushing you.
Look around you, so much love so much support, means you have been doing something right in your life at least.
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