Love Conquers All

It's an amazing feeling when something clicks into place. The warm feeling that spreads from your heart, or the lightheartedness you immediately feel when something that has been troubling you for so long started to lift off. I feel so humble, so small, and it feels really great. I am just a part of the universe, and I am responsible for my own life. Nothing else. I have no "greater" responsibilities to save the world, I am not obliged to anyone else. I just need to focus on doing the things that make me happy.

It's a huge concept to grasp. My idea right now (and I have no idea whether is it right or wrong), is that the more self-aware we are, the less we try to define ourselves, the less we hold on to things to make us feel that we are special and we exist. I used to be so proud of being able to define myself, my passion my dreams, proud to be different, proud to stand out. Proud of being able to state my purpose of life, proud to be able to have a life goal. Now, I don't think it really matters anymore. It's a state of knowing myself so well that I am calm inside. And I no longer need to look for external validations to validate myself. It's no longer a state of searching but just being.

People may laugh and scoff, isn't not having a purpose in life useless? Then why do I exist? But you see, I do have a "direction" or "purpose" in life, which is to be happy in whatever I am doing, to live in the moment, to fulfill my own needs. And it's a bliss when I realise this. I am no longer bound by all the responsibilities. I am no longer responsible for the external things that happen that is beyond my control. Because all the energy, everything I do, it comes from me myself. I do it because I want to because I choose to, not because I have to.  I am just my own bubble of life, and I may cross path with other people as I float along, and some people may stay longer than others, and we may have interactions and may learn from each other, may have some connections together, but eventually, in the end, I am still me, and I am still responsible for myself.

I used to have this twinge of annoyance when I heard of other people's success, especially if it's people I know well, but just now I suddenly thought of a friend of mine whom everyone praises a lot, and I was surprised to realise I no longer feel the annoyance that I felt whenever I thought of her, but a genuine happiness for her that she is that kind of person. A smile immediately spread across my face.

I used to hate the fact that other people might face the same issues as me, or has the same characteristics as me, but now I don't think I do anymore, I am just glad someone else can relate to it and I know I am not alone in this world.

It may be small, but it once again integrate in me the need to be humble, to have humility. I had always liked that word. It teaches us that nobody is greater than the other. We have no power over another person. Everything is, as it is. And all these realisations come gradually, but I am still glad I have them.

I am so thankful, to have such a circle of friends and family around me.

And why love conquers all? Because indeed, the source of happiness comes from being able to genuinely, truly, love oneself.